Yes yes, here I am. Now before you reprimand me for deciding to take a two-day leave, please let me explain myself~ by no means do you have to read it, but if you think badly of me now for the way I reacted, I do suggest that you take a look.
First of all, a huge thank you to those of you on here who messaged me on skype/tumblr with kind words and support. I'll never forget your kindness. ;3;
here is a copy and paste of what someone on here's reasoning is as to why I deactivated for a bit:
"she basically complained about some stuff, and then got called out on the art thief crap and left in a fit."
Alrighty then, let me explain.
"Complained about some stuff
": #1 - My boyfriend was in the emergency room.
He sliced his left hand completely open at work and had to get a shit ton of stitches. I was unable to go visit him because I was in the middle of class. He was having an absolutely emotional breakdown because now he can't swim, lift weights, and most of all work for a month (he has a very physical job), all things that mean VERY much to him, as much as drawing and art means to me. Even though it's not the end of the world, he was crying very hard and said he felt useless and felt like he wanted to die. ):
Naturally, seeing him in this state was extremely difficult and I felt useless right along with him.
#2 - I JUST began college.
Now, of course this is going to be a stressful event, but I am someone who constantly worries and overthinks things, on top of my social anxiety, so it's even more hard on me... The campus is all spread out and I have to lug a huge heavy portfolio and backpack around everywhere and it's physically exhausting. I walk into class sweaty and red and out of breath. Parking is another issue: there's NO free parking spaces, and all the streets are one-ways, so I'm desperately driving around trying to find spots to park. I am unable to eat lunch or dinner as my classes go straight through eating times, so I come home completely starving. I need ALL the supplies and textbook next week, so between books, supplies, food, and parking, I have spent almost $700 in the past week
. I'm not rich, my parents aren't helping me, so it really frustrated me about how in trouble I really am. Not to mention I have around 6 hours of homework every day, on top of an 8 hour school day. Last night I broke out into hives and cold sores because of the stress overload."got called out on the art thief crap":
After my extremely stressful day, as listed above, I come home to find 6 notes and one comment about someone tracing my artwork and ripping off my mascot, Seltsam. One of the dA users who noted me said that this person had traced over their work as well, so this was not a "first timer's mistake", this was clearly someone who had issues with infringing upon other's work. Sure enough, they had traced the exact pose of two of my chibi commissions
. I will not link to the traced work, since apparently pointing out art theft is frowned upon here.
Now, if they have the guts to trace over my artwork, they clearly have a "thing" for me/my style, and therefore it is perfectly reasonable to assume that their "new character", who wears a scarf with the exact same marking in the exact same position, red/blue color scheme with the blue functioning as the secondary color, markings in all the same places (except one on the tail), blue nose/tongue, navy hat, ears, etc is an attempt at recreating my character.
Now remember, 6 people had contacted me about this at once, with one of them having had their art stolen by this user, so it is not me out hunting for art thieves. And with everything going on in my life right now, it was the cherry to my I'm-Going-To-Fucking-Explode sundae. Of course I noted them about it, sure enough, no reply. What else am I supposed to do, sit there and continue having my art traced over? Sure, sounds like a great time.
And then, people started DEFENDING the thief. Do you know how frustrating it is to have your work stolen, and then have YOU get called the bad guy? Feels pretty fucking shitty tbh."and left in a fit."
: You know what? Yes I did leave in a fit. Because the dA community disgusts me.
There are some honest to god wonderful people on here who I am happy to have met and call my friends...but there are some equally as disgusting people who disregard others' feelings and only work for their own benefits like a sociopath. I was simply hoping for some encouraging words, when in reality over 300 people read the journal and only 10 or so commented (with 3 of those people shitting on my words and degrading my current situation to a puddle of whining).
To make things worse, this carried over to Tumblr:
Anonymous sent: yooo every time you reply immaturely to something you're just digging yourself a deeper hole, it wasn't a big deal to start with but between deactivating your account and telling people to fuck off, you're over-reacting and quickly losing the respect of many artists that follow you
Me: if your opinion of me is changing because i'm struggling to fight off mental/emotional breakdown then i'm sorry you're so shallow. tumblr is a safe haven for me, and if you're telling me i can't sit here and release my thoughts to a PERSONAL blog then that's just stupid. EVERYONE HAS THEIR BREAKING POINT. I HAVE REACHED MINE. you can either 1) step away and leave me alone, or 2) reach out to me in a compassionate manner, because it really does help and i sincerely appreciate every kind message. good day
Luckily, many of my Tumblr followers were able to step in and understand my situation better, and helped me out! (: I started feeling a lot better and now I am here again. Although I admit I was very nervous reactivating because of all the comments I saw about me while I was gone... /:TLDR; I just felt like no one really cared. Like you only care about me for my art, not me as a human being... /: perhaps maybe in the future when you see a fellow dA user in a tough time, you could take 3 seconds out of you day to leave them a loving message. Honestly, it can make a world of a difference.
And to those who have apparently "lost their respect" for me because of THIS, good riddance. I'd rather have a few caring and honest watchers than a ton of asshole ones.
I HOPE THIS CLEARS EVERYTHING UP!! I am still sick and upset by this whole thing so please be considerate in the comments (don't write mean things). uwu